Episode 67 – Mickey’s Once Upon a Christmas

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Just in case you didn’t get enough of us this year.

Important questions:

Why are Hewey, Dewey, and Louie so terrible?

Are Max and Goofy Codependent?

Did Andy… cut out tangents??

Keep an ear out for Tony armchair diagnosing Goofy and Andy condemning us to revisiting a classic series.

Our theme music is The instrumental version of A Ukulele for Christmas.

Find us on the Internet!

Email is mail@directto.video

Andy is @royalty_valens

Andy’s other podcast is Time Honored Pictures

Tony is @theaterbats

Tony’s comic is Inspired By True Events

Episode 66 – The Hunchback of Notre Dame II

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I cannot believe how palatable the gargoyles are in this movie.

Important questions:

Why put gems inside a bell?

Why is Madeline such a nothing character?

Is Quasimodo an incel?

Keep an ear out for Tony having nostalgia for something stupid and Andy busts out his Nic Cage impression.

Our theme music is Planet E by Lee Rosevere

Find us on the Internet!

Email is mail@directto.video

Andy is @royalty_valens

Andy’s other podcast is Time Honored Pictures

Tony is @theaterbats

Tony’s comic is Inspired By True Events

Episode 65 – The Hunchback of Notre Dame

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I, for one, love murder, lust, and genocide as key parts of my G-rated kids movies.

Important questions:

What makes a monster and what makes a man?

Who is the protagonist of this movie?

Is Quasimodo too ugly to love?

Keep an ear out for Andy taking issue with a quite good song and Tony taking issue with the existence of the gargoyles.

Our theme music is Planet E by Lee Rosevere

Find us on the Internet!

Email is mail@directto.video

Andy is @royalty_valens

Andy’s other podcast is Time Honored Pictures

Tony is @theaterbats

Tony’s comic is Inspired By True Events

Episode 58 -Aladdin and the King of Thieves

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All right, one last time before the end of the year, let’s finish a series.

Important questions:

Could they have more blatantly gotten Robin Williams back?

How racist are the forty thieves?

In what myriad of ways does Cassim suck?

Keep an ear out for Andy referring to Cassim as a “daddy” and Tony refusing to acknowledge it.

Thanks to Lee Rosevere for The instrumental version of A Ukulele for Christmas.

Find us on the Internet!

Email is mail@directto.video

Andy is @royalty_valens

Andy’s other podcast is Time Honored Pictures

Tony is @theaterbats

Tony’s comic is Inspired By True Events

Episode 57 -The Return of Jafar

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This is where it all began. The glitz! The glamor! The multiple songs sung by Gilbert Gottfried!

Important questions:

Why is the Genie terrible now?

Why doesn’t the movie start for thirty minutes?

Is “You’d be surprised what you can live through,” a good line?

Keep an ear out for no less than three cats trying to ruin this recording!

Our theme music is Planet E by Lee Rosevere

Find us on the Internet!

Email is mail@directto.video

Andy is @royalty_valens

Andy’s other podcast is Time Honored Pictures

Tony is @theaterbats

Tony’s comic is Inspired By True Events

Episode 56 -Tinker Bell and the Legend of the NeverBeast

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We finally made it. It’s over. This episode, we watch Disneytoons die.

Important questions:

What’s the deal with these terrible cops?

Does Andy have a stuffed Neverbeast now?

Why did Fawn becomeTinkerbell?

Content note: I did cut the ten minute rant about how Disney kills queer media but still wants the credit for doing the bare minimum for acknowledging people exist, but that was only because it was depressing, not because it was wrong.

Our theme music is Planet E by Lee Rosevere

Find us on the Internet!

Email is mail@directto.video

Andy is @royalty_valens

Andy’s other podcast is Time Honored Pictures

Tony is @theaterbats

Tony’s comic is Inspired By True Events

Episode 55 – The Pirate Fairy

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This episode was pretty badly desynced until recently, but it’s fixed now! Back from hiatus and better than—oh, no we’re still in Neverland!

Important questions:

What does pixie dust do?

Is science evil?

Does Zarina wanna make out with Captain Hook?

Keep an ear out for the potential genocide of the winter fairies.

Our theme music is Planet E by Lee Rosevere

Find us on the Internet!

Email is mail@directto.video

Andy is @royalty_valens

Andy’s other podcast is Time Honored Pictures

Tony is @theaterbats

Tony’s comic is Inspired By True Events

Episode 54 – Secret of the Wings

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I know I said I wanted the magic of Neverland back. I was wrong.

Important questions:

What is the most ridiculous piece of lore that these movies can keep repeating?

What’s the Keeper’s name?

Why are air conditioners bad for the environment?

Keep an ear out for vivid descriptions of a bunch of new characters that will never be seen again.

Our theme music is Planet E by Lee Rosevere

Find us on the Internet!

Email is mail@directto.video

Andy is @royalty_valens

Andy’s other podcast is Time Honored Pictures

Tony is @theaterbats

Tony’s comic is Inspired By True Events

Episode 53 – Tinker Bell and the Great Fairy Rescue

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Did you want to go back to the wonder and magic of Neverland? TOO BAD!

Important questions:

When is Tinkerbell going to get to drive a car?

Shouldn’t that guy have a moustache?

Is Cheese getting to old for this?

Keep an ear out for another Tinkerbell movie that fails to have a coherent moral.

Our theme music is Planet E by Lee Rosevere

Find us on the Internet!

Email is mail@directto.video

Andy is @royalty_valens

Andy’s other podcast is Time Honored Pictures

Tony is @theaterbats

Tony’s comic is Inspired By True Events

Episode 52 – Atlantis: Milo’s Return

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Nothing says “we created a wondrous magical country” like “let’s immediately leave.”

Important questions:

Why is Mole the hero of this movie?

Is Kida the villain of this movie!?

Is Sweet even in this movie!?!?

Keep an ear out for World War I, just around the corner.

Our theme music is Planet E by Lee Rosevere

Find us on the Internet!

Email is mail@directto.video

Andy is @royalty_valens

Andy’s other podcast is Time Honored Pictures

Tony is @theaterbats

Tony’s comic is Inspired By True Events